eBay
by MKRG
Summary: Vala's obsessed. Nuff said. DV


Title: eBay

Summary: Vala's obsessed. Nuff said. DV

A/N: This is just absolutely silly. I was writing something else and this popped up. It made no sense with the other piece I was writing, so I cut it out and put it here. I guess it doesn't hurt to share.

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Ahhh, the wonders of eBay. Of all the nifty little quirks about Daniel's planet, Vala had to admit that eBay was one of her favorites. From the confines of his little office underground, on his older PC, she was able to procure several items of personal value. A piece of sexy lingerie here, a bottle of perfume there, and so on and so forth. Eventually, she acquired her own credit card after Daniel so hastily banned her from using his.

It had become an obsession of sorts. All her free time was taken up perusing the online marketplace for the newest and best deals. It certainly beat waiting for Muscles to find time to drop her off at the mall. And forget Sam, she wasn't even on Earth. Lately, she'd been taken with one-of-a-kind costume jewelry. Daniel commented that she had absolutely nowhere to wear such things, which earned him a smack in the arm and more threats of bodily harm. So he left her to her vices. At least it kept her quiet while he tried to work on "important" things.

000

Daniel was obsessed with his new laptop. Vala didn't understand what was so freakin' wonderful about the damn machine. The minute he received it, he couldn't take his eyes off of it. And they said she was obsessed. All he would do all day long was type, stare at an artifact, type, and on and on. It was driving her absolutely mad because he paid even less attention to her now.

One day, when the tension had gotten to her, she blurted out, "Gawd, Daniel, don't you even like me?"

"Huh?" he kept typing.

"What is it about that silly computer that has you paying more attention to it than me? I _am_ the other human being in the room, you know. A normal person would have a conversation at least _once_ in a while," she complained.

He just looked at her funny.

"Well, answer my question!"

"What question?" She nearly pulled her hair out at his obliviousness. Thank goodness, she had her eBay to keep her sane. He smirked. He had her squirming.

000

Days later, she plopped down into the chair next to him and sighed heavily. "What's the matter?"

"I lost the auction for those beautiful bracelets. Some thief swooped in at the very last minute to overbid me! It was simply horrible! I had those bracelets within my grasp, Daniel, and now they're gone forever." She pouted.

He hid his smirk and feigned indifference. "Don't worry," he patted her on the shoulder, "there will be others."

"But I don't want others!" she whined. "I wanted those!" She huffed and rested her head on his shoulder. Daniel didn't flinch. He kept working. "So what are you doing?"

"Working. Something you could be doing right now."

"Please, Darling, saving your little planet is work enough. I deserve a break… and those bracelets."

"Vala, don't start with that again."

She remained silent for a moment. Then she slid her arms around him and spoke into his ear, "Darling, will you take me out for ice cream?"

He nearly shivered at her hot breath in his ear. "No."

"Why not?"

"I'm working."

"Can't you take a break?"

"No."

"Please? For me?"

"For you?" he said, as if considering it.

Her eyes went wide and innocent and pleading for him. He turned to look at her and nearly laughed. "Nope."

She groaned loudly. "Fine! I'll help you with your silly translations!" She got up to move the chair to the other end of the table where there was still some room to work. He grinned, eyes never leaving his paper.

000

"Daniel!" she screamed excitedly, nearly running him over in the hallway.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing! Things couldn't be better! I found this absolutely beautiful necklace on eBay. You just won't believe it, Darling, how perfect it is!"

He continued his stride toward the briefing room. "I thought the bracelets were perfect."

"Well, they were, but since I can't have those, the necklace will have to do, won't it? As soon as the briefing is over I am going to see if I won the auction." She giggled. "Oooh I can't wait!" He gave her a skeptical stare. "Don't look at me like that. You have to learn to appreciate the finer things in life, Daniel. Otherwise what's the point of living?" she said with all seriousness.

He shook his head. "I'm gonna grab some files from my office. You go ahead."

Later…

A high-pitched howl could be heard from Daniel's office. "I looooooooost!"

000

That most recent defeat left Vala feeling glum all week. The boys patted her back to cheer her up. They all reassured her that there would be other auctions to win and even better prizes to be had. Vala insisted that they were wrong. Nothing was better than the items she lost. Plus, they matched!

Daniel finally had had enough of her pouting and agreed to take her out for ice cream. He begrudgingly allowed her to have a triple scoop variety on the largest and most sugary cone ever made. Despite his warnings about an impending stomachache, Vala ignored him and wolfed the treat down.

They went back to the base soon after. She was cold and sleepy, so he walked her to her room. After opening the door, she hugged him, kissed him on the cheek, then thanked him before walking in. He didn't leave after she closed the door.

He looked at his watch and began a silent countdown. Just as he hit "0," a scream permeated the base walls. The door reopened to reveal Vala, clad in a matching set of necklace and bracelets. The very ones she wanted. She pointed an accusing finger at Daniel. "You!"

He conjured up a look of innocence. "Me?" he asked, gesturing to himself.

"You are a sneaky little bastard! You and that damn laptop of yours!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She laughed and launched herself at him. He caught her bottom in his hands as her legs wrapped around his waist. She held up a small notecard that came with the package left on her bed. It was signed by one Daniel Jackson. "You _do _like me!"

He laughed out loud this time. "No, I don't."

"Oh yes, you do."

"No, I don't."

She nuzzled her nose with his affectionately. "Yes, you do."

"Nope." He smiled brightly.

"Yes." She grinned back.

"Nope, I don't." He kissed her chastely on the lips.

"Mmm hmm." She kissed him back.

"Never." They kissed again.

"Yes, you do," she said more insistently. He started moving forward through the door.

"Not in a million years."

"I beg to differ, my dear Dr. Jackson." He kissed her more fully now, open-mouthed and tongues battling. When he released her, she was breathless. "See? You do like me."

"Hmm, maybe." The door slammed.

Landry and Mitchell stood there open-mouthed a few doors down, staring at the space that Daniel and Vala just occupied. Jack looked back and forth between the two. He was confused, but not altogether unhappy. "I thought you said they weren't…"

The General and the Lt. Colonel each held up a hand to silence Jack. Flabbergasted, they spun on their heels and walked away. Jack looked back at Vala's door. "Attaboy." He grinned. He turned back toward his retreating friends. "Ohh, Hank! Let's talk soundproofing…"

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A/N: I'm telling you. Absolute silliness. Thanks for reading.


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